Playboy: Who Are You?

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If the opening ’spread’ for your magazine is not a woman at all, but an ad for a game for a Sony PlayStation Portable (the handheld game favored by twitchy teenagers), what does that say about Playboy? 

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Month after month, Hugh Hefner is surrounded with the usual ‘bevy’ of beauties.

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The girls remain 20 and pneumatic, but the hair of three of the writers featured, like that of Robert Stone and Pat Jordan, has gone from gray to white.  The third isn’t even alive (Kurt Vonnegut.) In the schizophrenic world of Playboy, 2008, those ‘real writers’ bookend a scolding lecture by Susan Jacoby about how America doesn’t read anymore–plopped dead center in the midst of a stroke book.

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In the current issue, she’s supposed to be a MILF [Mothers I’d Love to Fuck], but the thought of winning a date with siliconed, dyed and war-painted 42-year old Cindy Margolis is downright scary:

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OK, I know that Kevin Bacon and I aren’t the right demographic for Playboy anymore–but who is?  Videogames, MILFs, bewhiskered authors and an 81-year old figurehead; the Playboy lifestyle is looking pretty incoherent these days.